BRN TO CLOSE (This post is all over the place, sorry)

Well everyone, I think my eyes are sore with tears. This is attempt number 42, lets see if I can word this right.

I came to Second Life with a goal, that goal was simple. “Make friends, and not be lonely.” I think I achieved this goal, and yet… I feel like I haven’t met it all these years on. Maybe I am demanding to much from my friends, but I truly hope you forgive me. Despite how many of you have shared your love and support, even fund-raising to buy me a laptop to help keep me coming back to Second Life,  I feel so lonely.

These last few months have been to much, I am dragging myself on the ground to move just constantly in tears. I am spending sometimes up to 16 hours staring at my computer screen waiting for messages from people, anyone… just a hello… just a how are you. These messages never come… and the messages for requests of content and objects, are also constantly making me feel used. I don’t feel like anyone remembers me as a person.

So yes my departure from Second Life is selfish, but sometimes we have to think of ourselves first.

As said earlier I have been in Second Life since its beta, I have seen so many changes. Its hard to imagine that we only hit 1 million users on October 18th. Now look at that population. I am truly impressed with what SL has become, but at the same time I am also saddened. Linden Lab as a corporation is distancing itself from the community, to the point where… I truly believe there is no community voice in the decisions they are making, that they are putting on a show after already making the decisions and the meetings are nothing more than public relations exercises to give an impression of caring.

I know this is not the first time I have planned my departure but I am tired. I think I truly hate SL, I mean really HATE it. With the new emerald viewer you can’t even hide from friends without them knowing. The new beta viewer is outside my userbility and I am just to tired, I can’t do it anymore.

I am sorry everyone who I hurt with this decision, I have been dragging myself around for months in fear of how to do this but theres just no other way to say it. I hate what SL has become, and as much as I love you all. I can’t commit to being here.

I have known so many of you for so long however, and because of that, if you require my contacts to get hold of me outside SL. I will be more than willing to give those to people I trust. I have been truly blessed by my experiences in Second Life, and I love you all so much. Without you all I would not be alive today, and I truly mean that. You all have pulled me through so much.

Will post more as I figure it all out.

(Attempt 43)

~Love LilMatty
~BRN Owner

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3 Responses to “BRN TO CLOSE (This post is all over the place, sorry)”

  1. Awwh :-(

    I’m sorry to hear you’re leaving, though I can’t say I don’t understand how you feel. There have been a lot of changes lately, and I don’t just mean SL. A lot of my friends have left, or stopped logging on so often. SL can feel like a very lonely place without a good friend next to you. I’m sorry for not saying hi lately, but like you, I’ve also considered leaving for various reasons. I’ve only been online a few hours this month so, far in fact.

    I’d like to urge you to not delete your account though. Everything changes. These changes are constant, and in many directions at once. Not all changes are good, but not all are bad either. Just something to consider. And while some friends may move apart, new friends appear and other friends get closer, sometimes from directions we never expected.

    You, and the BRN, are both going to be missed in SL. And I’m sure I won’t be the only one saying so. You’ve been a great help and a great friend to many people here. There are a lot of us that look up to and respect that adorable avatar of yours, and what we know you’re capable of.
    I hope this won’t be goodbye forever. But if it is, know that you won’t be forgotten by any of us.

  2. Hairy Thor Says:

    I understand your plight. SL has become more of a chore, than an experience. I hope you decide to stay with us. Something for you to ponder, I can step up and assist you in running the BRN, as I’m sure some of your closer friends would offer as well. This would lessen the burden on you, and give you more time to enjoy yourself here in SL.

  3. Ichago Dougall Says:

    Im sorry to hear this. I just found this wonderfull blog/site. I hope you move on to find what you are looking for.

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